What to look for?

It feels great to be in love, but don’t lose your common sense. These tips are for people who want to build a lasting relationship.

This is the third article about finding the one. Make sure you also read the previous article: ‘First impressions matter’. It will give you important tips that might save you from crucial mistakes.

Think for a change!
“There are two types of girls”, someone once said to me. “Some are friends, others you date.” Many could never imagine themselves dating a friend. Why is that? Isn’t friendship a good start for a healthy relationship?

“I have no feelings for her.” Do you really need the feelings to arrive on day one? What if you start by focusing on the person’s good qualities? Then the feelings you want might come when you least expect them.

Sense before sensuality
Most relationships start with a crush, but it doesn’t have to be that way! It’s possible to start with your head and let your heart follow. If a crush kickstarted your relationship, what happens when your feelings die down or change?

A crush often makes us silly and half blind. We cheer on everything the other person does, and can’t find anything wrong with them. So taking the time to get to know your partner, might be the best thing you do before the relationship gets serious. It might even help to get tips from a friend, who sees you from the outside.

It’s wonderful to be in love, but use a bit of common sense! Love feels good, but don’t trust your feelings to be the roadmap. To avoid a crash, control the crush.

Qualities to build on
“Who can find a wife of nobel character?” the Proverbs asks. 
How strong your character is, decides if you are left standing when the going gets though.

“Charm can fool you. Beauty fades.” (2) the author of Proverbs points out. This means that looks and body shape shouldn’t have the last word when finding the one.
 
Girls are easily charmed by attention, gifts and sweet words, but something else is needed to build a lasting relationship. A man who will “last” is one with discipline, who takes responsibility. Is he stable in the long run? Is he honest? Does he show up on time? Can he handle money? What about his temperament? How does he react to a challenge?

It’s important that the person you build a relationship with has an ability to handle life. Then there’s grounds for further growth. 

1.   Proverbs 31:10 (NET) 
2.   Proverbs 31:30 (NIrV)

This was the third article about Finding the one. Make sure you check back soon for the upcoming article: "Check your goals!" Are you going in the same direction? How does your life-goals affect your relationship?