They might be able to help

It is neither embarrassing nor humiliating
to get other people involved in the most
important choice of your life.
We need good counsellors!

This is the seventh article about finding the one. Make sure you have also read the previous article: 'Looking for a partner?' It will give you important tips that might save you from doing crucial mistakes. 

While it used to be normal to involve parents and other experienced people in finding a partner for life, it has in time evolved into a rather private affair in our part of the world. There is, however, no reason why it should continue that way!


When we were kids, it was natural for us to get help from a friend when we wanted to find a sweetheart. Many people I know have had good experiences with that later in life as well. Before you make your move, it may be an idea to gather some information about how your prospective other might react. Maybe someone you know could find out about it for you in a discreet manner.

Girls are probably better than us guys at sharing their feelings with each other, which is a strength! Guys do talk about potential girlfriends as well, but often in a very different way. It is very good and important, to have friends you can talk to! Maybe you have someone in you social circle that could be your sounding board?

Christian leaders and counsellors

If you are lucky enough to be part of a congregation, you have a great advantage. All good Christian leaders ought to be able to give good advice when it comes to matters of the heart, but people have very different talents in this area, as with any area of life. When you have a specific person in mind, or you are already dating, it is advisable that you evaluate the relationship by talking to someone more experienced than you. Even when you have established yourselves as a couple, it is a good idea to have other experienced couples to talk to. In many circles, there are people that can easily see who would suit each other and who would not. Keeping all this in mind, you should of course not blindly follow what everyone else thinks.

Parents and people with experience

Most of the people on this planet do actually involve their parents in the process of finding the one. I know many Norwegian men that have talked with their girlfriend’s parents and asked for her hand in marriage, as they used to in the old days. That way they have won the favour of their future in-laws early on, which may prove to be quite important!

A couple of the things we have highlighted here may seem a bit strange and old fashioned to some. We may, however, have made you think more closely about these things. If so, we have reached our goal.